How to Shop for Vintage Shoes on eBay
             --a found poem, sort of

by JEN KARETNICK


At the neck of the vamp, which is cut like cleavage,
a pert little bow ties across the top stitching, and I have


1 day, 2 hours and 34 minutes to make up my mind
(on the day, fyi, Bettie Page finally kicks up her heels


to the height that promotes supreme comfort) if these pin-up
pumps will fit my feet let alone my style, which could be Goth


or Granny, according to mood and li’l boho skirt, though it could
be a skinny jeans and maxed Paypal account kind of play


by the time my own time runs out. These are the dirty little
details one must read in the footer to do a deal for these


or something else like the front zip-up go-go style boots
in the various shades of purple suede and a scalloped edge


or the Andrew Geller green satin fishnet heels, embroidered
with rhinestones of which some have fallen off but you can glue


back on once you receive if you even still care, these pairs
just a tempting broken few of the 2,724 prospects


transacted as is, no refunds, seller not responsible for losses
or dramas, and insurance added to invoices only as an option.
JEN KARETNICK is the author of the chapbooks Necessary Salt (Pudding House Publications, 2007) and Bud Break at Mango House (Portlandia Press, September 2008), which won The Portlandia Group’s bi-annual chapbook competition. Her third collection, Eve and After, was a finalist in the Women of Words chapbook competition. Her poems have appeared in journals including Barrow Street, Cimarron Review, Gastronomica, Georgetown Review, Greensboro Review, North American Review and River Styx and are forthcoming or recently appearing in Alimentum Journal, Blood Lotus, Consequence Magazine, Folly, OCHO and Pearl. She is a 2005 recipient of a Dorothy Sargent Rosenberg Award for a lyric poem and a finalist in the 2009 Patricia Dobler, Consequence Magazine and Earth Vision prizes. She received an MFA in poetry from University of California, Irvine and an MFA in fiction from University of Miami. 

Jen works as the dining critic for MIAMI Magazine; the neighborhood columnist for Biscayne Times; and a freelance food-travel writer for publications such as Chile Pepper, Florida Travel & Life, ForbesTraveler.com, Porthole Magazine, Relish, SheKnows.com and more. She teaches creative writing to grades 6-12 at the Miami Arts Charter School. She is the author of Around Miami with Kids (Fodor’s/Random House, 2000) and co-author of the cookbook Raw Food/Real World: 100 Recipes to Get the Glow (HarperCollins, 2005) and the fashion craft book Born-Again Vintage (Potter Craft/Random House, December 2008). She lives in Miami Shores on the last remaining acre of a historic mango plantation with her husband, two children, three dogs, five cats and fourteen mango trees.