THERE WERE NO DOGGIE BAGS AT THE LAST SUPPER

No one asked
for a doggie bag
at the Last Supper,
and only Judas complained
about the tip,
saying he didn't think it should be split
twelve ways,
since he only ordered
an appetizer.
John kept asking for more rolls,
and Thomas doubted the fish
was even fresh.
Somebody said
the house wine was pretty good
And Jesus kept everybody entertained
by doing card tricks.


Jack Conway



MAKING CRANK CALLS TO THE GAS CHAMBER

You could only imagine how he felt,
strapped in the chair,
head shaved,
when the phone rang,
praying someone would yell,
"It's the governor. You're saved."
But it wasn't.
It was just some kids,
asking if the Warden had Prince Albert in the can.
You could still hear them laughing
as the lights dimmed,
and he was currently discharged.


Jack Conway
JACK CONWAY's most recent poem, "My Picnic With Lolita," was published in Rattle. "The Military History of a Meal" was published in the Peregrine Review. "The Robert Lowell Memorial Bowling Trophy" was published in the Antioch Review. "I Found American Literature's Wallet" was published in Light. "My Cookout With Sylivia Plath" was published in Blue Monk. And "When Billy Collins Met Anne Sexton" was published in RALPH. His most recent book of poetry, Life Sentences, was published in 2002.
The Adirondack Review